Smells Like... Chocolate Chip Cookies?
Aaron Neal, PhD (he/him/his), is a clinical psychologist, educator, and researcher focused on culturally responsive approaches to mental health and well-being in marginalized communities. He holds degrees from North Carolina A&T State University, Teachers College at Columbia University, and the University of Michigan. Aaron also participated in BLK South’s Durham-based Soulwork fall cohort, a six-week, community-led space rooted in honest conversation, spiritual practice, and collective wisdom shaped by Black theological voices. Learn More
Smells like … cookies.
Can soul work smell and taste like chocolate chip cookies? I think those 6 weeks in some ways did. Soul work was a beautiful and communal experience. Connecting with those who were looking for community and the opportunity to talk about their faith. I remember my first meeting with these folks and sharing fresh baked cookies with them. The smell and kind gesture lingers with me as I reflect on our time together. Each week was a different batch of chocolate chip cookies.
We were all very different ingredients, unfamiliar but connected to one another; drawn together by two folks wanting to activate a rich community of learners, thinkers, doers, and believers. All the ingredients came from different backgrounds, bringing their own unique flavors and contributions to our 5 batches of cookies. Our practice in baking chocolate chip cookies followed this recipe, improving week after week.
Flour. A strong base of consistent bodies that showed up each week acting as the foundation of our recipie. Prepared to be molded as a collective. And a vehicle to deliver the variations in weekly ingredients.
Two dashes of baking soda. A powerful and necessary activating agent that you can’t quite taste or smell but feel its presence. Shout out to the orchestrators (Erin and Kendall) of the collective who encouraged our group to move, learn, and grow together.
Strong cultural traditions and customs working like eggs that bind us together.
Different sugars, brown and white, that remind us to be sweet and soft with each other’s differences. While both are sweet, they each provide unique flavors necessary to make a good chocolate chip cookie.
A pinch of salt that brings out the sweet. Conflict can make us salty. But doing conflict. Wrestling with each other’s beliefs. Acknowledging hurt and growing from it helps to understand each of our unique contributions to the collective good… or cookie rather. Recognizing how someone shows up and what history they bring helped me to savor the sweet connections we made in our groups.
Like dark chocolate, bittersweet relationships with churches and other faith communities were an unfortunate, necessary, and repurposed ingredient. Some carried chunks, others chips. Both were necessary for a good cookie. For me, bitter chocolate was/is difficult to digest alone. But sharing it made for a palatable and relatable experience. Acknowledging I wasn’t alone in my church hurt has reoriented my relationship to faith communities.
Browned butter, that was carefully stirred and caramelized to forge a thoughtful and graceful community where our individual and collective beliefs could land. The depth in flavor and rich scent of this is what lingers and flavors Soul Work for me. Browning butter is a slow and intentional step. It takes effort, time, and forethought. Its addition made for a tender and liberating experience that most starkly reminds me of why communities with shared faith are necessary in our pursuits of personal and collective spiritual growth.
And week over week, each batch of cookies were prepared by Souls at Work. We deepened the flavor and refined our recipe that resulted in a collective good that I remember fondly. I think each batch of cookies, baked together with collective intention, reminded me that our bitter, sweet, salty, and rich experiences come together to nourish the soul. Grateful to have been a part of developing that recipe. And for the metaphorical and literal cookies that nourished me and the rest of Souls at Work.
Reflection Questions:
Where have shared experiences—sweet, bitter, or complex—helped you feel more connected to others?
What kinds of spaces or practices help you grow alongside people with different beliefs or stories than your own?
R E C O M M E N D E D R E A D I N G
